Sid Tackles 'The Times'

Well, last night I did something about the sad situation. The brilliant James Wade of Team Unicorn I have dubbed Dexter, as in the cartoon show Dexter’s Laboratory, about a zany kid who keeps blowing up his folk’s house. James certainly shook the Reebok yesterday with an 8-6 win over Wayne Mardle and then a brilliant fight back to conquer versatile veteran Bob Anderson 11-9.

In my quest for more vivid darts commentary, I have dubbed Mark Walsh of Herts Vin Diesel. If he loses I will call him Sam Sumpoil. Today he takes on Mark Thomson, having done for Andy Hamilton of Stoke 11-4. I fancy Vin to progress to the last 8.

But the one nickname I would not dream of changing is Mace the Ace. Chris Mason is now the mature real deal as he showed by taking out World Number One Colin Lloyd. Mason went to 3-2 in the match with an average of 112 and stayed cool and controlled to win 11-7. He could well go all the way and take this title.

Phil Master Blaster Taylor has not hit afterburn yet but I expect a cracker between him and John Part. Old JonnyLobo still keeps rolling, and how about the Pulverising Pensioner for his new nick name? He takes on the holder Roland Scholten today and I think it will be tight.

I myself have been called The Geordie Lip for too long. Any better ideas? Let’s be having them.