Tarts, Darts and Tungsten

The self-styled ‘Tarts for Darts’ – really four secretaries from Kent – have waylaid me under the mistletoe! They pecked my chops and have given me my first Christmas card during my time at The Circus.

Then, one of my biggest fans, a ginger lad called Chris, gave me a bottle of fizzy wine and a tin of mince pies – as I dived into the commentary box.

It got better when four plumbers from Peckham, clad in my garish features, presented me with a well-drawn cartoon of myself……in the days when I had hair!

On the oche, I wasn’t surprised by the brilliant form of Andy ‘Henry VIII’ Hamilton against our own Bob Anderson.

Stuart Pyke and I revelled in Shakespeare’s Henry V, parts 1,2 and 3 and cracked every joke in the book about Henry the Hitman and his unlucky wives!

Sid’s ‘Stiletto Watch’ is still going but so far I have only seen high-heeled cowboy boots with tassles and the lass with the best selection is Sky’s own Helen Chamberlain.

But I bet there is a real Essex Minnie Mouse out there somewhere!